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“I Don’t Like Reggae—I Hate It!” A Comprehensive Guide to Reggae Music for the Unpersuaded

“I Don’t Like Reggae—I Hate It!” A Comprehensive Guide to Reggae Music for the Unpersuaded

Music
  1. Though it may strike you as something less than shocking coming from an analog, Fosse-loving guy like me, but I’ve never cared much for reggae music.  Doesn’t everyone like reggae?  I like the idea of reggae, but even though I know I’m supposed to think it’s sacrosanct, frankly it just puts me to sleep with its repetitious, musically static directives to relax and enjoy life—the musical antithesis of living in the (formerly) United States of America. I’m prepared to accept that I may be too high-strung to appreciate its charms (I have a very reliable stop telling me to fucking relax reflex), but even when I used to smoke pot I got impatient waiting for chord changes that never came, or anything resembling an engaging vocal performance. Maybe that’s why I decided to create the first Gay Man’s Comprehensive Guide to Reggae Music.  Though some may feel I am trading in stereotypes, my position on reggae is an honest reflection of how my ears respond to popular music; unlike many people, I am long past the age of affecting enthusiasm because I am desirous of seeming cool. In completely subjective terms, I think listening to the Ray Conniff Singers is much cooler than listening to Bob Marley; so sue me.

That said, I do actually like a reggae beat, especially in the hands of musicians who can take the buoyant spirit of the island music and, you know, build an actual song around it. I realize to some people this is practically heresy, but one of the few compensating factors of maturing is that you truly stop giving a shit about impressing anyone with how cool you are. I firmly believe that this guide will enliven the proceedings when reggae is unavoidable, and help my similarly cautious brethren to just cut to the good stuff.

Gay Man’s Comprehensive Guide to Reggae (in 1100 words)

Cher fingernails
Cher, photographed by Bill King, 1975.

1.  Cher

This is exactly how not cool I was/am: my first exposure to any iteration of the genre was when Cher covered Jimmy Cliff’s “The Harder They Come” on her 1975 album Stars. How ya like me now? Though hipsters and purists are certainly snorting with derision, I stand by Cher’s album, primarily on the basis of its album cover, which was and remains the quintessence of 1970s glamour. As a kid I spent untold dozens of hours listening to the record and staring at its graphics, wishing I could somehow transport myself out of suburban New Jersey and into Cher’s eyelashes. (Years later when I worked with her, I told her about my obsession with this spectacular photograph by Bill King and we talked at length about how many hours it took to braid the Christmas lights through her tresses.) If I hadn’t been born gay, staring at this picture of Cher for so many years could have conceivably made me gay.

 

 

Barbra Streisand, Butterfly, 1974
The back cover was a beautiful illustration, the front cover was a visual pun.

2.  Barbra Streisand

Wait! I just lied to you. Why show off your lack of street cred with a Cher cover of Jimmy Cliff when the truth is even more compromising: the very first “reggae” record I ever heard (you see, now we are so far from the real thing I am compelled to use quotation marks), was actually Barbra Streisand’s Jon Peter’s induced cover of Bob Marley’s “Guava Jelly,” which came out in October, 1974, a full six-months before Cher’s album. (Yes readers, just when you thought we couldn’t get any gayer, Munk busts out a reference to Barbra ButterFly, the album where in lieu of a glamorous portrait, Babs was coerced agreed to a high-concept image: a fly on a stick of butter. Get it? Even as a ten-year-old, I knew something was wrong on this track, though I couldn’t pin point it. Perhaps it had something to do with Babs singing about rubbing jelly all over her belly against a jaunty steel drum arrangement.  Hearing it today, it doesn’t suggest sex as much as something more clinical, like a sonogram.  For the album cover and bad song choices, I mostly blame Barbra’s erstwhile boyfriend Jon Peters, who (allegedly) produced ButterFly, his first record after a successful career as a hairdresser to the stars. Did he actually think he could turn Barbra Streisand into Rita Marley? A few months after he made over her recording career, he cut off her hair and permed the remnants. There has been spirited debate among a small group of gay men ever since as to which of these Jon Peter’s edicts— covering Bob Marley or the afro—was more destructive.

  Stevie Wonder illustration large

3.  Stevie Wonder

Of course as an adult with a discerning ear, I know that Cher’s “The Harder They Come” and Barbra Streisand’s “Guava Jelly” are not what I thought they were when I was a kid. In fact, I can’t even recommend either except for their kitsch factor. But Stevie Wonder’s cover of Marley’s “Redemption Song” is another thing entirely. I found his version several years ago on a 1996 compilation called Song Review: A Greatest Hits Collection. I think it is probably Stevie’s single greatest recorded vocal performance—and that’s really saying a lot because in addition to his myriad of gifts, Wonder is one of the great singers. In Stevie’s hands, the song moves away from reggae toward something much more straightforward and anthemic. I often listen to Stevie’s version of “Redemption Song” when I go running, not only because I appreciate its soaring, decidedly non-reggae-ish arrangement, but because at a crisp 3:46, it is almost precisely the same amount of time I can actually run. Listen and behold the vocal genius of Mr. Wonder.

Sting "Every Little Thing" videop

4.  The Police

The Police and Sting did something particularly notable with the sound of reggae: they made it musically engaging. From “Roxanne” through much of Sting’s solo work, we hear reggae deployed in the service of well-crafted pop music, which gets the Stargayzing stamp of approval. A good example of what the Police could do with the idea of reggae without actually being reggae is “Every Little Thing She Does is Magic,” from one of my favorite all-time albums, Ghosts in the Machine (1981).

 

Annie Lennox Collection

5.  Annie Lennox

Gay icon Annie Lennox’s live cover of Jimmy Cliff’s 1969 song “Many Rivers to Cross” is culled from a 2008 appearance on the American Idol charity special Idol Gives Back, and it is a stunner. It was also included on her CD The Annie Lennox Collection. I have always considered the ability to sit at a piano and touch a listener’s heart with just a song and your voice to be the highest level of pop music excellence. It is such a very rare gift and here, Annie Lennox demonstrates why she is such an enduring, vital artist.

 

Well—that’s it.  My list encapsulates the totality of what I feel about reggae music and, as far as I’m concerned, it is all anyone needs to know.  In the near future, you can look forward to this gay man’s guide to other things for which I have little interest, including Nascar, gaming culture (an oxymoron) and finally, a trenchant exploration of the sociological effects of the perpetuation of cultural stereotypes.

 

More Cher:

In Honor of Her Birthday, Stargayzing Goes Chergayzing!

Stargayzing Mix Tape: The Most Unbelievable Cover Songs of All-Time! #9: Chér’s Cover of Paul McCartney’s “My Love”

 

More Barbra:

Color Me Hip Hop? An Exclusive Stargayzing Guide to Barbra Streisand’s Secret Place in Rap Music

A Gay Man Comes of Age: Stargayzing Guest Columnist John Richkus Remembers November 1, 1970: The Night Barbra Streisand Sang for Bella Abzug

More Stevie:

Songs That Should Have Been Top-Ten Hits, Volume 3: The Clive Davis Edition

More Annie:

One of My Favorite Live Concert Performances Ever: David Bowie and Annie Lennox at The Freddie Mercury Tribute Concert, 1992

On Aging, Birthdays and Wisdom from Older Women

You may also enjoy:

13 Songs That Should Have Been Top-Ten Hits, Volume Two: 

Straight Acting: It’s Fine to be Gay as Long as You Act Like a Guy, or: “What Would Cher Do?”

27 Comments

  1. Lauren
    March 28, 2013 at 7:24 pm

    David,

    Appreciate the analysis, but I’m with you – I adhere to a strict one reggae song per night limit, which was especially tough when I attended two weddings with reggae bands. And I must admit, I did suggest to my band that we do one verse of Knock on Wood reggae style. I hadn’t thought about or listened to Guava Jelly for a long time!

    Lauren

    • David Munk
      March 29, 2013 at 2:11 pm

      You’re probably better off not having forgotten about “Guava Jelly” On the other hand, if you listen to Cher’s version of the Jimmy Cliff song, “Guava Jelly” starts to sound pretty good! Miss you ‘Monga.

  2. Lewis Breland
    March 29, 2013 at 2:21 pm

    Barbra Streisand is my favorite singer, but I have to agree; Guava Jelly is probably Jon Peters’ fault. Not her finest musical moment.

    • David Munk
      April 2, 2013 at 2:17 am

      Hi Lewis! Blaming Jon Peters was so much fun and so easy that I’ve decided to start blaming him for my own mistakes! You should try it, it’s great! Thank you so much for reading. I hope you’ll take a moment and sign up for my monthly newsletter on the homepage if you haven’t already. it’s the best way for us to stay in touch! David

  3. Jeff
    March 31, 2013 at 12:27 am

    Don’t forget Annie Lennox’s cover of Many Rivers to Cross – a non-guilty pleasure if you’re looking for a diva covering reggae:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=91kf_6ifgjI

    • David Munk
      April 2, 2013 at 2:16 am

      Hi Jeff. Well I absolutely love that cover, it’s true, and I also thought about her cover of Waiting in Vain. Thanks so much for checking in—much appreciated!

  4. Sherwin
    December 30, 2013 at 6:21 pm

    David, How could you not mention Bob Marley ?

  5. Sherwin Rubin
    March 13, 2014 at 12:44 am

    Last time I checked, I had 13 or 14 trips to Jamaica on my passport. The only reggae star that I can name is Bob Marley and I have several of his albums.

    I learned to dance Reggae in the early 1960’s and have spent several hours on the dance floor doing that. I remember Buffalo Soldier and the time I learned what a Buffalo Soldier was. There are al lot of songs, maybe not Reggae, like Island in the Sun, or Jamaica Farewell. Maybe, ” I Shot the Sherif” was an all time favorite.

    Thanks for the memories.

  6. Rick
    February 18, 2015 at 2:10 am

    “Though hipsters and purists are certainly snorting with derision, I stand by Cher’s album, primarily on the basis of its album cover, which was and remains the quintessence of 1970s glamour.”

    And much much more! On its fortieth anniversary, it wouldn’t be a bad idea for hipsters and purists to celebrate the cover slick of “Stars” for the masterpiece it is.

    As a technical achievement, it represents a notable high point in analog photography. As an image it took my breath away (when a young portrait photographer), and inspired me from the minute I saw it. I acknowledge it as fine art…from the time-delay lights thru the flash and brilliant lens choice to the exquisite hand airbrushing we can see and hold something the likes of which will never be recreated. (Bill King’s “people” refused to share any and all technical details with me lol. Interestingly, the backliner photo (by Norman Seeff) is widely considered to be the best picture ever taken of Cher.)

    While the “Stars” album has a dirty music biz backstory resulting in an undeserved career setback for Cher, as a visual work of art it’s exemplary. It’s hauntingly beautiful. As a cause of gayness, David you just might be on to something: after all, the album was inexplicably withdrawn on release, and has never been on CD. Are you absolutely sure you were born gay and didn’t catch it from looking at the forbidden LP?

    • David Munk
      February 19, 2015 at 4:41 pm

      Hi Rick,

      You are hysterical and it is a great comfort to know that there is at least one other person on the planet for whom this image had such a profound impact. You would have enjoyed the conversation I had with Cher herself about this image.

      Despite my harsh words for Cher’s reggae track, there are several songs on the album I really like. I only wish that she had recorded more Jimmy Webb material. Please feel free to reprint the piece on your website or tweet it out. It was also printed in the Huffington Post yesterday. Perhaps it is not surprising that some readers fail to see my attempts at satire and do not realize I am making fun of myself, not reggae.

      What can you do?

      David

  7. Rick
    February 20, 2015 at 1:39 am

    Haha – maybe it’s time for “A Gay Man’s Comprehensive Guide to Not Taking Yourself Too Seriously”!

    Reggae aside – and since nobody wants to give Cher credit for anything – I’m keeping an open mind about whether or not “Stars” made you gay. I’d be demanding MRIs which specifically rule out the hypothesis. Or you could turn the whole matter over to my esteemed colleague Mary McCray aka Cher Scholar (http://cherscholar.typepad.com) for some expert academic input.

    With Bill King long dead and his studio burnt down, of course it makes sense to hunt Cher down and grill her on the exposure details for the “Stars” cover. Gosh – she’s just the girl who’d know whether or not he was working with early autofocus and other need-to-know technical data lol.

    I’ll be looking forward to further Gay Men’s Comprehensive Guides –

    • David Munk
      February 21, 2015 at 4:07 pm

      I’m working on A Gay Man’s Comprehensive Guide to Hip Hop…

    • David Munk
      February 21, 2015 at 4:09 pm

      Oh and thanks for introducing me to the Cher Scholar – wasn’t aware. It’s good to have authorities to go to when I need fact checks! By the way, I added your blog to my “Stargayzing Suggests” feature on the homepage so Stargayzing readers can hyperlink to your site.

      Thanks for reading Rick!

      David

  8. Rick
    February 22, 2015 at 11:33 pm

    Thanks David ~ I’ve done same and linked you too.

    “I’m working on A Gay Man’s Comprehensive Guide to Hip Hop…”

    Good. Nice to see somebody advancing our culture one Comprehensive Guide at a time! The more-than-a-Tweet-but-less-than-a-dissertation format seems just about right!

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