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If Marie Osmond Sang “Memory” From <i>Cats</i> on a Telethon in 1982 but Nobody Listened, Did it Make a Sound?

If Marie Osmond Sang “Memory” From Cats on a Telethon in 1982 but Nobody Listened, Did it Make a Sound?

Music, Television
Taking jabs at Marie Osmond’s circa 1982 performance of Andrew Lloyd Weber’s “Memory” from Cats may seem a bit redundant once you’ve watched the clip, but I’m hopeful Stargayzing readers might permit me just a few quick observations on the chance that it may enrich the viewing experience.  This amazing clip, once believed lost, is an opportunity to witness for yourself what I believe is one-of-the-most-gloriously-misguided-musical-choices-ever-made-by-an-untrained-singer-before-a-TV-camera-in-American-telethon-history.  Or in other words, essential viewing.Now part of what makes this little clip so essential for me is the staggering scope of the songbird’s ego.  Before she finishes the first verse, we sense that Marie is unconcerned by two things that might, under the circumstances, be regarded as vitally  important: the vocal ability to sing the song…
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D.I.Y. Minnelli! The Liza Box is Completely Restored

D.I.Y. Minnelli! The Liza Box is Completely Restored

Featured, Film, Munk's Junk (Everything Else)

“I ended up gifting the finished Liza Box to my little brother Robbie for Christmas that year. To gild the Minne-lily, I filled the box with all matter of Liza loot, including VHS copies of Rent-A-Cop and Arthur 2 from my personal collection and, the jewel in the crown, a customized Liza snow globe that played “New York, New York.” This feature gave me an unexpected thrill because the shaking movement required to activate the snow seemed to push Liza’s already erratic vibrato into previously uncharted tremulous territory.”

Whataburger’s Sexist Brand Messaging

Whataburger’s Sexist Brand Messaging

Munk's Junk (Everything Else)

For International Women’s Day, I thought it might be interesting to drag the Texas-based burger chain Whataburger into the 21st-century and give them a little of the #MeToo treatment. In this case, it should be #Hertoo, because the illustrated history of the brand that adorns the wall of each location is absurdly sexist and factually misleading.

The First Sex Experiences of Celebrities

The First Sex Experiences of Celebrities

Film, Television

Victoria Principal (actress), 17 years old:  “It was a month before my eighteeenth birthday that I finally lost my virginity….We were in the front seat.  To have gotten in the back would have seemed to premeditated and I was still holding on to some vestige of propriety.  It was very short and there was no particular pain or pleasure, no particular physical sensation.  In fact, afterward I thought, ‘Jesus, there’s got to be more than this.  If not, I’m going back to the other stuff because petting was a lot of fun.'”

Comic Totie Fields vs. KISS’ Gene Simmons: Her Wit was Mightier Than His Tongue

Comic Totie Fields vs. KISS’ Gene Simmons: Her Wit was Mightier Than His Tongue

Television

Which leads me back to the great Totie Fields. Perhaps her greatest moment was the time she made mincemeat of Kiss’ Gene Simmons on the Mike Douglas show in 1974. Only during that era could you even have two disparate entities like Totie Fields and Gene Simmons inhabiting the same stage; they were simply from two totally different planets, she from the Catskills and he from Mars. Or were they?

Faith Newman on Teddy Pendergrass and her Philly Soul Roots

Faith Newman on Teddy Pendergrass and her Philly Soul Roots

Music

In 1981, at fifteen, I got my first job at a Philly record store called “The Listening Booth.” I flirted with the kinda slimy guy with the coke pinky who worked in the stereo department so he would play the in-store music that I liked. Of course that included Teddy and Rick and Marvin and Prince and my all time heroine, Teena Marie, the one person who made me feel that it was okay to be who I was and respect what I loved. I was asked to leave after I asked stereo guy to play Vaughn Mason’s Jammin’ My Big Guitar in the store. It was Christmas season and it didn’t go over too well with management.

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